You won't reply, eh? I'll show you!

Dear Sir/Madam,

This is a follow up email to the one I sent you last week. In case you've forgotten, in it I requested to have my contract cancelled due to the poor signal I receive in my flat, thus rendering my phone useless.
Unfortunately, I have yet to here from you so I feel it is time to take matters into my own hands.
Dearest Three. I am leaving you.
If you'd got in touch, perhaps we could have worked things out? I guess we'll never know. I'll pay up until the end of the month (January 2010) but then I am off. If this was football, there'd probably be talk in the media about "mutual consent" but we both know I've quit. Were this a relationship, instead of a friendly break-up, you've just been dumped. I think you get the idea.

Let me just end by saying thanks. When I wasn't at home, you were actually quite a good service provider. Which was nice.

It's been fun.
Ben Trow.

An Email to Three

Dear Sir/Madam,

Mobile number: 077********

I am writing to you with a request. The request is to cancel my contract with yourselves. The reason for this is that I cannot get a signal in my flat, which is why I am emailing rather than phoning up. When I signed up with you in November 2008 I lived elsewhere and never had any trouble with signal, but since moving house in July 2009 I have struggled to get even one bar of signal on my phone. I think you'll agree that this is a very frustrating situation to be in.
What started off as a small annoyance has since grew into, well, a large annoyance and I would hope that nearly 15 months into an 18 month contract you could grant me my request and cancel my contract. I feel the £35 a month, plus £5 add on for internet which I have been paying (totaling £600) more than covers the cost of the phone and any usage over the last 15 months.
So how about it? Lets just accept we've had a good run but that it's time to go our separate ways. I hope you agree its the best thing to do.

Many thanks,
Ben Trow.

The Year of New Things

I've decided 2010 is going to be a year for trying out some new stuff. Foods and drinks that'd I'd normally turn my nose up to, situations that I perhaps wouldn't usually encounter. You know, that sort of thing.
I'm not entirely sure what these things are going to be yet, so suggestions are welcome! I thought maybe I might start drinking whisky...and I've not had sushi before. I could start smoking a pipe? I've never owned a leather jacket! All possible new things I could do.

I'm quite looking forward to it. Let's see how it goes, eh?

Sorry About The Doom

I agree you were right to say we're doomed
Cuz there isn't a chance that I'll get to be in your arms soon
Cuz I'm back on the road now
And there is nothing that we can do
I have to find a way to make the days pass soon

We spend our time looking for which one fits best
And in the morning I am waking
And I'm wondering how its me who ended up like this
Cuz I'm the one who said it would be easy
Now I'm the one whose feeling worse
Cuz I agreed that I would never be put first

And I know your heart is beating slow
And out of time with mine
So now I'll say goodbye


It's an amazing song. Go listen!

The Perils of Living Alone.

No one else to split the bills with,
Or the rent,
What if I slip and fall in the shower?
And what if start to choke on something?!
There's no one else to do the washing up,
Occasionally it gets a bit boring,
I've got no one to beat on Fifa on a regular basis,
Or lose to, but less regularly, obviously.


I can't think of anything else really. I've just decided I like doing lists at the moment.

Things that will help improve my life.

A better paying job,
A flat with central heating,
And double glazing,
32 inch HD TV,
iPhone,
In fact, how about I just win the Gadget Show competition?
Being able to be more sociable,
Passing my driving test,
Then getting a car,
A relationship?
I'm not sure about that one actually,
Owning the entire Monk boxset on DVD (or Blu-Ray?),
New jeans without holes in,
That goes for shoes too,
A hair cut.

Nothing

Hello there. You alright?

Just thought I'd spout some bollocks for a few minutes before I go for a shower and get ready for my day!

You might wonder why I'm not at work at this time, but don't you worry, I'm not having a skive. I've started doing shifts at work. 2-10. I'm only doing them for this week, then I'm back on the 9-5 for a while. These late shifts aren't too bad though. I get a lie in, and usually get to leave early. If I get home for half 10 then I've done well.

I've started driving again. I've had a couple of lessons which have gone quite well. Apart from when some idiot drove into the back of me, which wasn't much fun. At first I was like "Ah shit! What have I done? Was that my fault?" Then I realised, no, it wasn't. I was waiting at some traffic lights and this fella decided to use the back of my (ok, my instructor's) car to slow down instead of his brakes. But that's normal, right?

I'm getting a washing machine! How sad is it that I'm excited by this? I've not had one since I've moved in, which was...4 or so months ago. That's a long time to be going over to friends' places to borrow their washing machines. It's coming on Saturday, I may just do a load of washing there and then. Foof, right?

Christmas....that's getting closer, right? Gah...I hate talking about it already, but you have to get things organised and that. This year is the first I'm actually going to be working a bit. Last year I managed to get 2 weeks off, and before that were uni and school times. I'm working Christmas Eve, then I've got to get myself to my parents in Worcester for a couple of days then it's back to work in Derby until New Years Eve. Busy times. By the way, don't feel like you have to get me anything. I'm probably not going to get you anything, so...

I'm currently reading Tiny Acts of Rebellion by Rich Fulcher (of Mighty Boosh fame, but you knew that, right?). It's quite good, I might even attempt some of them. I'd give you an example, but they're quite long and I can't be bothered to type any out. You'll just have to get the book, maybe I'll lend you mine. Or maybe I won't! (a tiny act of rebellion there, actually).

Anyway, things to do. Bye!